There was a post that came out last week in The New York Times entitled In Defense of Boomerang Kids. It was rather refreshing considering Gen Y gets reamed by NYT every once in a while (anyone remember What Is It With 20-Somethings?), but boomerang kids still get a lot of flack in the press.
Although I am myself a boomerang kid it’s not something I’ve touched on too much on this blog. Why? I’m not sure. Although I probably felt embarrassed that I had to move back home after being away for so long – however now I’m realizing that being a boomerang kid isn’t all that bad.
The truth is when I graduated from college I was broke. And I mean really broke. I had quit my job during my last semester because writing my thesis, my health issues at the time, and graduating became priority. Whatever money I had saved up before then was long gone before I graduated.
(Sound familiar yet?)
So when graduation day finally came I had no money, no job, and a diploma I couldn’t even read because it was written in Latin. To top it off I was living in Florida, which was hit very hard by The Great Recession, so it would take me a while to find a job anyway.
The result? I moved back into my parents’ house.
Fortunately I grew up in the middle of Miami, so it’s not like it was a total bust, but it’s still weird to move into your parents house when you’ve been gone for a while. It’s also weird to feel like a stranger in your own hometown – which I did for a long time.
It’s easy to get down in the dumps during this kind of situation. We were taught that after college we land a job and go out on our own. We were supposed to just keep going without looking back to embark on the rest of our lives. Obviously this isn’t happening for most of us anymore.
So what happens? We get kind of depressed and anxious. We feel like we’re not on the “right path”. We feel like we’re so far behind from where we should be.
Real talk? This is utter bullshit people! Think about it – how many of you would rather be in debt up to your eyeballs instead of having the ability to put money away in the bank? How many of you would rather struggle, and I mean really struggle, during a Recession rather than taking it easy and trying to do things the smart way?
Quite frankly, if “the right path” involves being stupid with my money then I don’t want to take it.
I for one would rather save up for a downpayment on property that would belong to me instead of helping someone else pay their mortgage with my rent check. Don’t get me wrong, if there’s a way I can do both I would gladly take it – but rent is more expensive than ever, and it’s a buyer’s market in real estate.
Sure, I could have moved out once I got a job,but I live in an expensive city and wouldn’t have been able to put away as much money as I do now. Because I chose to continue living at home even after getting a job I can put money toward my IRA, invest, and save more money in high yield savings accounts. If I were on my own there’s no way I’d be able to do that much.
Do I want to move out eventually? Of course! And sometimes I get the itch to move out as soon as possible. But honestly, I want to do it the smart way, with nice chunk of money in the bank, not because I’m in a hurry to be on my own again.
Your comments were refershing and honest. In my forthcoming (mid-June, Viking) book, Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest I do a deep dive into this subject.
I was sort of a boomerang kid. When I got laid off from my job in Miami, I had no choice but to move back. I applied to hundreds of jobs and had 2 interviews, despite my qualifications and references. I wasn’t hired for either position. I ended up moving to Lake Mary for employment. Miami is one of the worst places to find a job right now, and my only recourse was to leave.
Yeah Miami is pretty bad – and the rest of the state is far worse off. It’s not stopping people from moving here though LOL.
We are also starting to see subtle improvements. Hopefully they stick around.
Living on one’s own does not necessarily mean living in debt. Rather, it might mean living with less, until your circumstances change.
No matter how you might reduce the problem, moving back in with your parents after college, or not moving out until you are in your mid-30s is a terrible prospect. It will always, and *should*, have an associated stigma.
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Normally I would agree with you. But given the current circumstances it’s difficult for a recent college grad to find a job that will pay all the bills even if they are down to just necessities – especially if they’ve got their eyes on the city life.
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It’s not okay to be a Boomerang Kid. It’s not okay to dodge responsibility because you don’t want to struggle a little or figure out the basics of personal financing. Overall you sound like someone who likes to come up with excuses versus taking the time to just suck it up and figure it all out. Grow up.
Hi Angie,
We’re living in a time when moving back home is the ONLY way for some of us to learn about personal finance. If I had been on my own not only would I have accrued debt and horrible financial habits as a result, I would never have had the opportunity to start investing, start saving for retirement, eliminate my debt and actually create a budget so that I would be able to take these habits with me into the future. I’m failing to see how that isn’t responsible.
Do some millenials take advantage of their parents home and avoid responsibolity? Yes, absolutely, unfortunately I see it all the time at my job. But I for one took a bump in the road and turned it into an opportunity to get my money in order which was indeed the smarter financial choice.
If you’re staying at your parents house to live the high life and avoid having any responsibility then yes, I would agree that is very wrong. But if you’re doing it to get your stuff together so you don’t run into bigger problems later on then I don’t see why it’s such a horrible thing. In fact, I commend the individual who swallowed their pride and moved back home to get their finances in order – because belive me, it’s not an easy thing to do.
Then you should have made that distinction more clear in your article. By the way, living on your own does not mean one will go into debt up to his or her eyeballs. I live on my own WITH a child as a single parent and I have zero debt. It’s because I learned how to be responsible from the get go. Either you never learned these valuable lessons or ignored them because you are in obviously in debt for a reason.
The reason I am coming down so hard on you because your article reads as if you are telling people that as long as you don’t want most of your money going out to bills or don’t want to struggle a little that it’s okay to run home to Mom and Dad.
It’s called life! Suck it up and learn how to live below your means and not abuse credit. “Just because I don’t wanna” is not a good excuse to go into debt or live with your parents.
Oh please, just because you decided to live a certain way doesn’t mean others can’t follow their own paths.
If someone is blessed with having parents that value lifelong familial bonds then why are you so against their happiness?
What’s disappointing is that as a single parent who has gone through many hardships, I would think you would be more sympathetic. Instead it seems like you’re angry that other’s are getting help from loving family members.
When you say being a boomerang kid is “okay” it suggests there’s nothing wrong with it. I agree with Angie that it does and should have a stigma for a reason. Your article is titled “Why it’s okay” but it never really answers that why. It answers “why it might be smarter financially” or “why I felt like it was my only choice” but neither of those is very surprising.
So…the point of the article is that it’s OK to move back in with your parents so they can shoulder some of your financial burden rather than you? Don’t you think that puts some pressure on them? And at what point do you feel it’s time for them to not provide for you?
I find this discussion fascinating.
In my culture, it’s the norm for people to live at home until they get married. And even then, it’s very common to see multiple generations in one home. I grew up with my grandparents living with us and my aunts and uncles living very close by.
And while I do admire the independent attitude many Americans have, I find it sad there’s this shame in going back to your family.
I come from a culture where that is normal as well. In fact, I thought it was very strange that many of my American friends from college would rather work 3 bartender jobs, put off going to school, and accrue major debt rather than just move back home for a while. It never made any sense.
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Wow, I didn’t think this would turn into such a discussion. I’m glad this has become a platform for honest to goodness debate
Amanda Abella recently posted..5 Reasons Why Your Business Needs a Blog
By the way, an interesting read in case anyone is interested.
It talks about all of this and more.
Young People in the Recession – The War Against Youth
Esquire
http://www.esquire.com/features/young-people-in-the-recession-0412
I did go home after university because I worked in a city with rental prices the same as my income. After 8 months the opportunity to move into an apartment a little out of the city came up and I left. The problem with today’s generation is that they think they should have the same level of living as their parents- but your parents spent YEARS working towards the nice cars, homes, lifestyle etc.
These years of being young and on my own have been the best of my life. Yes, it can be difficult but I will always look back fondly on them.
I don’t think my parents owe me anything. They gave me 20 years of support and they enjoy being empty nesters now. Just like I wouldnt move into a friends house and mooch off them, I wouldnt with my parents. If I did need to go back home for whatever reason, I would pay rent still.