On February 27th I started my first ever workshop with a life coach.
Many of you already know that I’ve been very intrigued by Gabrielle Bernstein and her teaching ever since I stumbled upon her Authors@Google talk. After reading her books, becoming slightly obsessed with watching her lectures, and starting a daily meditation practice of my own I figured it was high time I got knee deep in the work. So, I signed up for her February/March workshop which is all about authenticity.
I made a promise to myself that I would really start taking care of myself and well, that has just as much to do with the mind as the body. One of the things I like so much about Gabby Bernstein is that she gives practical easy to use tips to help you check your ego in your daily life. For someone like me who has suffered from severe anxiety in the past, sometimes we need a little help keeping things together – especially when we have a lot on our plate and hold on to hurt like a full time job.
Furthermore, there is stuff that we all tend to hold on to – and I mean for YEARS. That first boyfriend (or girlfriend) that left you. You parents didn’t give you enough attention. You feel inadequate because you were diagnosed with an illness. That asshole that cheated on you. That job you lost. Etc., etc., etc.
The list goes on as to how we’ve all been hurt. And an even longer list can be written from how many times we let our hurt and fear get in the way of living our lives. We victimize ourselves and we let the ideas of our inadequacy get so deeply rooted in our mind and body that we forget to live. Above all we forget to love ourselves and each other resulting in a horrible fear spiral that can manifest itself in different ways – stress, anxiety, depression, guilt, inaction.
I’ve definitely been there. And I’ll bet money that most of you have as well.
And so sometimes we need some guidance in figuring out our thought patterns so we can break free from the cycle and finally begin to live. Sometimes we need a real push to go after a big goal or dream. Sometimes we just need some guidance period.
Of course, the kind of guidance you need is sometimes contingent upon what you’re looking for. Maybe you need more help with your finances than your love life. Maybe you need help building a relationship with yourself. Maybe you need a push in terms of career choices.
(Note: Now, please keep in mind that if it’s something like addiction or severe depression you need to seek the proper form of help).
Whatever the case may be, below you’ll find a list of 6 signs that you may need a life coach.
6 Signs You May Need a Life Coach
1. When you need someone to call you out on your bullshit.
Life coaches are great for calling bullshit. They’re also great for making you accountable without making you feel like crap.
2. When therapy is no longer therapeutic.
I’m personally a fan of therapy. Quite frankly I feel that talking it out and organizing your thoughts is a good place to start getting your shit together. However, sometimes we’re done with the talking and being analyzed and instead want to take some freakin’ action. That’s where a life coach comes in. Rather than just talking about your feelings for an hour they give you tangible steps to start doing something about them.
3. If you’re going through some rough stuff.
If you’re going through something really extreme (severe depression, eating disorder, self mutilation just to name a few) you need to get the proper help. Once you’ve done that you can compliment your regiment with some life coaching depending on what you need help with. There are coaches out there for just about everything – find the one you need.
For those of you who have less serious yet still very painful problems (self esteem, body image, letting go of your ex, losing your job, money issues) I highly suggest seeking a coach.
4. If you’ve reached a plateau.
This is why I started seeking the help of a life coach. Although I’d done a lot of work in terms of healing, forgiving, and letting go of stuff – I had pretty much gone as far as I could on my own (and therapy stopped working a long time ago).
This doesn’t just refer to psychological stuff though, maybe you’ve plateaued in your career, your fitness, or your money. Whatever the case may be, if you feel you’ve gone as far as you could on your own and still feel stuck, then definitely seek the help of a coach.
5. If you need a swift kick in the ass.
If you feel like you need a fire lit under your ass to reach your goals then you need to get a coach.
6. If you have an idea about what you want, but aren’t completely clear about it.
Life coaches help you focuses in on what you really want. The really good ones also help you focus on what you actually need. Through exercises they can help you set real, tangible goals with a clear picture of what you’re striving for. Then they can help you create strategies to reach that goal.
All in all I think life coaches are great for our generation. First, because there’s so much they didn’t tell us in school. Second, because life seems to be crazier than ever. Third, because we’re going through an awkward phase much like puberty – just with adulthood. And lastly, because we as a generation have big dreams and most of us have no idea where to start.
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I would have to disagree on some points; I do believe – quite firmly – that therapy can be instrumental to our emotional, mental, and spiritual growth. You just need to find the right therapist and TYPE of therapy that works for you. A lot of people are very familiar with talk therapy, where you just sit and talk about your problems. But there’s also CBT – cognitive behavior therapy – where a therapist will sit with you to come up with practical plans and steps to help you. Therapy is about teaching you to help yourself – or at least the good kind anyway. So it can take awhile to find a good therapist who is a match for what you need.
Additionally, a therapist is trained and educated on how to help you and lead you through a crisis. From my understanding, most life coaches have no real accreditation whatsoever except maybe a license in being a life coach. Which to me, is certainly not enough to help me with my emotional problems – big or small.
Though, I do agree with a life coach acting as a supplement – though never a primary – source of help. Even in the category that you’d dubbed as “lesser problems” everything is interconnected versus compartmentalized – so if you lost your job for example, this could reflect poorly on your sense of self which can trickle down into destructive patterns – either mentally or physically. Again, something for a therapist to handle – not a life coach.
But generally, I would always recommend a therapist to anyone because they can be fundamental in the healing process. Whereas I think a life coach – eh! I’m not so sure. Additionally, I think life coaches reflect a certain amount of [economic] class – at least for me, I had never heard of a life coach before (except in Nip/Tuck when Julia had one). So I think that’s an interesting component as well; who does and doesn’t have access to a life coach – who may also be more than some can afford, and therapy is covered by most – if not all – types of insurance plans, which makes it a financially a more viable option for many [vs life coaching].
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I totally agree with you and by no means meant to downplay the role of therapy. However as someone who tried it and found no real success except reiterating what I already knew, I have found coaching to be much more helpful in applying practices to my daily life. Maybe my therapist sucked lol – although I also felt like my issues were pretty menial in comparison to many other people.
Coaching is great for people who need a swift kick in the ass or tools to apply to daily life – especially if its in a particular area of their like careers or money. Most of our candidates are depressed when they come in for an initial interview but once they’ve got some hope and coaching they start to feel better about themselves and their job hunt – and become much more successful at it!
I am a person in which listening with the perception of other people because I know that in this way matter I am able enough to know what must the things I need to focus or change for attaining great success with in my self and in my stuff at the same time…
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Great article, thank you. i think many people don’t realise how powerful having a good life coach is. they can help you find those ‘aha! moments, to realise your limitations and help you take steps to moving forward. I have had coaching and it completely showed me how amazing it can be – and so I become one in the end, lol!
Coaches are great if you wnat to move forward, and who doesn’t want that?
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