5 Ways to Deal with a Difficult Boss

Amanda Abella — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 14:00:10 +0000

We've all been there. We've all had moments where we would rather gauge our eyes out a'la Oedipus than listen to our boss any longer - even if we actually get a long with them. We've all had a bad boss, a difficult boss, have dealt with some micro managing here and there and ultimately have not at all been in the right state of mind to put up with it. For those of us with major entrepreneurial spirits this can be a real drag.

It happens. We're human. And so are our bosses. Which is a really important key to remember when you're dealing with anything in life - we're all human.

Now, for those times that we forget that, I fervently believe that if you want to get far in a traditional career path you need to add one important skill to your repertoire. It's not a skill on your resume or one you learn at school. In fact, I'm pretty sure no degree can prepare you for what I'm about to say. The number one skill you need to acquire if you're going to make it in a traditional career is this:

You need to know how to manage your boss.

Kate White mentions this in her latest book, I Shouldn't Be Telling You This, and I soon realized that knowing how to manage your boss can make or break you. It can make all the difference between having a miserable time and a good professional relationship.

So how do you do this? How do you learn to manage your boss?

Read on Fireballs...

Know how they function as a human being.

Bosses are human. They deal with life stuff - and some of them don't know how to handle life stuff very well. As a result they may tend to project outward at employees or cause some trouble. Once you become aware of this a) you learn not to take it personally so you move on and b) you don't get sucked into their drama.

Knowing your boss' patterns as a human being will really help you professionally. You'll know when to avoid them altogether or learn when you should be paying a little more attention to your job.

Is this manipulative? Absolutely not. You just learn how to make your work life easier. In fact, this makes your relationships in general easier.

Notice your boss' managing style.

Pay attention to what your boss likes. Do they like an occasional email with your progress? Don't wait until they ask for it before writing it. Do they like to use you as a sounding board? Use the opportunity to help them talk through solutions.

Every boss has a different style of managing and handling employees, so it's essential that you start paying attention to how your boss manages those underneath them.

Notice your boss' communication style.

Okay, this is something I have definitely had to learn the hard way in the past. Is your boss quick and short when looking for answers, or do they drag out stories before they finally get to the point? Noticing these habits will help you communicate with your boss when you guys are working together. You'll notice if you need to keep answers short and sweet, if they want background info or if they just like to talk. Communicating to your boss in the way they communicate to you will lead to a better understanding of each other and help the day flow more smoothly.

If your boss is incompetent, make their lives (and yours) easier.

I stumbled upon a great article from Forbes that talks about this very thing. You can actually assess your boss' personality to come up with a strategy to a)calm them down and b)get off your back. Take a look at this awesome example from the Forbes article:

What if your manager is downright incompetent? Zofi has a solution for that, too. One of her clients worked at a medical device manufacturing company and reported to the daughter of the owner. The company made sophisticated medical resonance imaging machines that were constructed from parts produced in various countries including India, China and Israel. Overwhelmed by the challenges of coordinating so many disparate sources, the boss became extremely anxious, constantly pestering the employee for information and even interrupting her when she was in meetings or on the phone with long-distance suppliers.

"My client was getting sick over it," Zofi recalls. "It was affecting her personal life. She even thought about going on Prozac." Zofi counseled the employee to assess her boss's erratic personality and come up with a strategy to calm her down. Instead of confronting the boss directly, Zofi's client reached out to the foreign suppliers and gathered information. She wound up creating spreadsheets that laid out the status of each part and when it would come into the manufacturing facility. "She gave her boss a comfort zone," Zofi notes. The strategy worked. In addition, the employee formed good relationships with the suppliers, which helped everything run more smoothly. "She doesn't love her boss," Zofi notes, "but she's still got a job, and she's dealing with it."

Don't ever fuel the fire.

If your boss is having a bad day, pissed at your coworker or just not in the right frame of mind it's definitely not the time to ask for a favor. Also stay away from conversations involving other coworkers or their personal lives. You don't want to fuel any fires and you definitely don't want to end up being a punching bag.

(If you work in a very small office this can be really hard. Just try to your best to notice when your boss goes from business to personal and then steer as far away from it as possible.)

Knowing how your boss functions, paying attention to their managing style, communicating to them in their language, make their lives easier and staying away from drama will help you tremendously as you start moving in your career. Sure, we'd all love to have great bosses, but sometimes even the great ones get on our last nerve. Knowing how effectively manage it, however, is where your power lies.

What are some effective ways you have found for managing your boss? Got any crazy boss stories? Share them in the comments!

Think Traffic mentions how people who are considered experts in their field do not take on just anybody as a client. They have an application process, a waiting list and only offer free services occasionally.

Marie Forleo talks about the importance of identifying ideal clients in her video "Do Your Clients Drain Your Energy?". (Very good video!)

Ramit Sethi (I Will Teach You to Be Rich) and Derek Halpern (Social Triggers) also talk about the importance of knowing what kind of customers you want to work with on a podcast they did together.

And of course, you can't have a post like this without mentioning Seth Godin, who pretty much coined the idea of building your tribe. (If you don't know who Seth Godin is at this point you need to watch this and this.)

So as you can see, some of the leading online experts in marketing, sales and numbers all seem to agree on the same thing.

Bottom line: Get clear on who you WANT to work with.

Click here to read the entire post.

2. Figure out how you work.

Hit the ground running or baby steps? Everyone is different. I personally have to do something everyday in order to create a habit. Other people are more successful when they start small, like starting off going to the gym once a week instead of everyday.

Look back at your past successful resolutions. How did you approach it? Did you make a commitment from the get go or did you ease into it? Once you figure out what works best for you, use it.

3. Start early.

This is my favorite tip - start a few days early! Last year I started practicing my healthy resolution on December 26th. It made it seem like there was less pressure and by the time January 1st rolled around I was already a few days in.

This year I'm doing the same with my green juice resolution. In fact, I started on Christmas Day

4. Use life's curve balls to your advantage.

One of the biggest reasons people have a tough time with resolutions is because life inevitably gets in the way.

Been through a breakup? Got laid off? Illness? No problem! Use these less than desirable situations to your advantage. Get creative and use the energy these situations bring up for good.

Don't get me wrong, if you need to take a few days to readjust, do it. But you also have to look at the silver lining - and guess what, you know have more time to cultivate those resolutions. Besides, focusing on something else other than your hardship - like doing something good for yourself - can make a huge difference in the healing process.

For instance, when I was feeling a lot of anger after a breakup I upped my fitness routine and started kickboxing. I was still taking care of myself, was using the anger to get a good workout in and was releasing whatever crazy emotions were coming up through physical activity.

The result? I've got arm definition for the first time in my life (see picture below haha). My abs are tighter, I'm stronger, I've got more endurance, my mood has improved and most importantly, I've made health and fitness a regular part of my life.

2012 resolution completed, even with one of life's curve balls.

5. Enlist some buddies & declare your resolution.

Do you and a friend both have a similar resolution? Join forces! Go to the gym together, work on your side hustles together at a coffee shop, train for that marathon together, whatever! There is some serious strength in numbers so take advantage!

This is also a great way to keep yourself accountable. By declaring your resolution out loud it gives you a sense of commitment. The friends you enlist can also help keep you on track (just like you can help them).

6. Have fun! Don't be so hard on yourself!

We're not perfect, and as a result we're going to fall off the wagon. The plan of action here isn't to be so hard on yourself - that just brings up feelings of guilt, anger and a whole bunch of bullshit that won't serve you.

The solution is to acknowledge the goof up, give yourself a pat on the back for getting as far as you did and picking yourself back up again the next day. Sometimes it takes a few tries before something sticks, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

At the end of the day resolutions are meant to improve our lives, not make us feel miserable.

So what are my resolutions this year?

Health & Fitness: Start juicing, baby! I got a Breville juicer for Christmas (the same one in the documentary Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead) and I'm ready to use it! I've been experimenting with green juices and smoothies for a few weeks and I truly feel it's time I make a commitment to those micro-nutrients and make myself some green juice for breakfast everyday (as I am writing this I am on Day 2).

Follow me on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter to keep up, join in and show me your juice!

(Optional resolution: I've been reading up on the health benefits of massage thanks to Kris Carr. In 2013 I will try to get a massage once a month to help my muscles out.)

Money: In 2013 I hope to max out my Roth IRA contribution for the year. The max contribution is $5,000 and I already contribute $1,200 automatically. Only $3,800 to go! I plan to do this with the help of Impulse Save. If there is anything that Impulse Save has taught me it's that little savings here and there add up quickly.

Career: There's nothing really new in the career sector other than continuing what I've been working toward since starting this blog. I need to continue testing my coaching chops as I move through the ICA program. I also hope to become actively involved in local networking and career communities. I've got a couple of workshops I'm working on that will help me get involved, give back and help me with one of my ultimate blog/career goals of speaking & live events.

I also hope to attend at least one conference in 2013. I upgraded my Delta Skymiles account & have accumulated a ton of miles for United. It's time to start using those suckers!

Are any of my fellow bloggers attending any conferences in 2013? Which ones? Want to split the cost of accommodations? Email me and let me know

What are your resolutions or goals for 2013? Feel free to share in the comments below!

This should be required reading for anyone in the working world, but especially for those of us who are just starting out. Although I like to think I have an edge on how the business world works simply because I work in recruiting, I actually noticed that I have indeed made several of the mistakes mentioned in this book. In fact, since I’m conducting job interviews on the daily I’d say at least 75% of the people I meet continue to make several of the professional faux pas reiterated in this guide regardless of how many years they’ve been in the workforce.

Quite simply, this book is pure gold for anyone who wants some insight on how the professional world actually works. Furthermore, it’s a handy guidebook for anyone wanting to be successful the right way - through abundance, gratitude, hard work, creativity and teamwork.

It’s a book I wish I would have had two and a half years ago when I was a fresh faced college grad trying to job hunt in the middle of a recession. It’s also a book I wish many job candidates would read BEFORE I have to interview them. Below you’ll find a list of some of my favorite highlights from the book.

False Expectations About Entering the Corporate World & 6 Things I Wish I Knew About Companies Before I Started My Career (Pages 22-23)

As someone who works in recruiting I nearly cried from laughing so hard when reading these pages. Partially, because I had these expectations myself a couple of years back, but also because I’m constantly interviewing people who think raises happen often, promotions are easy, starting salaries are what their schools told them they would be and that companies should fit their needs.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being successful and kicking ass in your career. I’m also all about flexibility and having a life outside of your office, but we really need to quit the entitlement crap. All that’s going to do is get you a very very rude awakening when entering the working world - and sometimes I’m the one who has to give candidates this awakening. Talk about awkward.

The STAR vs The DOPE (Chapter 2 and beyond)

This book provides a unique guide for the working world through two juxtaposing personas: the STAR (Savvy, Tenacious, Adaptive and Resourceful) and the DOPE (Disses Opportunity, Potential and Earnings).

The STAR, also known as the Successful Young Professional, possesses the several qualities outlined throughout the book that will help you thrive in the working world. Meanwhile, the DOPE manages to screw everything up by being negative and looking out for himself.

What’s really great about using the two personas is that they teach you lessons that can not only apply to your role in the professional world, but they also relay meaningful lessons to take into other aspects of your life such as a belief in abundance, celebrating others and the power of perspective.

The House Analogy

McDaniel uses a simple to understand analogy in order to explain how to set ourselves up for success in our careers: building our careers is like building a house. You have the foundation, the framework and the exterior.

In this case each step is as follows:

Foundation: The core principles that will help you as you build your career.

Framework: Nine attributes and characteristics that serve as the structure of your career - from being resourceful to making decisions.

Exterior: This section has less to do with what you do and how you do it and more to do with how others perceive you to be. This represents the visible exterior of your career and covers effective communication, your attitude and how to network.

Get comfortable with failure.

This book provides a very empowering perspective on the idea of failure. McDaniel gives it you straight: we’re human and we will inevitably fail at something. We will make mistakes along our career path, we will have to learn some things the hard way and not everything is going to go according to plan.

The difference between a successful young professional and a mediocre worker is their level of resilience. Those who have gotten comfortable with failure can pick themselves up as many times as it takes until they get it right. Unfortunately, most people give up at the first sign of rejection, their first mistake on the job or at their first inkling that something will go wrong.

By the end of the book you have a clear cut guide on how to rock your career for the long haul. These aren’t quick fixes, they are foundational insights to help you run the marathon that is your career.

Kick Ass Career By 2013 Giveaway

In celebration of all our career goals for 2013 I decided I'm going to give away a FREE copy of The Young Professional's Guide to the Working World. If you're looking to rock your career for the long run, regardless of whether you are just starting out or have been working for a while, this book will help you achieve your goals. Want in? Here's how to participate:

1. Tweet about the giveaway. You can use any of the following pre-made tweetable. (1 entry per tweet)

Want to rock your career? The Young Professionals Guide to the Working World via @amandaabella http://bit.ly/Y6GceT Buffertweetable text

2. Share on Facebook. You can use the following guide: (2 entries per post)

@GradMeetsWorld is having this awesome book giveaway for job hunters & young professionals! Check out The Young Professional's Guide to The Working World! http://bit.ly/Y6GceT

3. Email your friends or email subscribers! Please make sure to copy me so I can count your entry amanda [at] gradmeetsworld [dot] org. You can also use the following template: (3 entries)

My blogger friend Amanda Abella from Grad Meets World is having an awesome book giveaway to help young professionals with their career goals. She's dishing about Aaron McDaniel's The Young Professional's Guide to the Working World on her latest blog post and is celebrating by giving away a free copy!

Please check out her awesome blog for career advice and feel free to participate in the giveaway! Visit http://www.gradmeetsworld.org for more info.

Thanks!

4. Tell us what some of your professional goals are in the comments section! Got a website? Share it! Want to be an entrepreneur! Dish it out, honey! (4 entries)

Here's to beautiful and abundant careers for everyone in 2013!

make friends in the real world.

B. Networking becomes an integral part of their career or business.

But here's the thing - most people think networking and immediately imagine some boring event their boss is making them attend. They imagine obnoxious name tags, bad drinks and a windowless hotel room. They also imagine forced conversations with people who sound like car salesmen.

I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be that way!

As I write this I am preparing for a crazy week of professional and personal networking events. Some of these were planned while, others were - well - a surprise. Since I know I need to brush up on some of my skills I figured it would be pretty nifty to share some networking tips with you all.

(Note: Most of these events are for women. If any of you local Miami ladies would like to join some awesome groups let me know!)

Event #1: HerFuture.com Miami Meet-Up (AKA Spirit Junkies Invade Starbucks)

I'm finally meeting some positively empowered women in Miami (other than my friends) thanks to HerFuture.com. For those of you who don't know, HerFuture.com is a networking site that was created by my favorite authors, speakers and spiritual teachers Gabrielle Bernstein. It's purpose is to help like-minded women find mentors and support for anything from career to family.

Thanks to this lovely site I found the Miami Power Posse and we planned a small get together so we could all meet other like-minded women in this crazy city of 2 million people.

My co-worker is coming with as well so it should be a fun time.

Event #2: LocalLEVO Miami Launch

I've been a contributor to The Levo League for quite some time and I AM SO PSYCHED that they are bringing their LocalLEVO meetups to Miami! I've got an influencer dinner and a netWORKOUT spinning class. So happy that I'm going to get to meet other Levo Ladies in the Magic City. If you're in Miami and would like to come to the spinning class send me a message at amanda [at] gradmeetsworld [dot] org.

Event #3: Business Meeting? Planning for a possible future event?

One of my main goals through Grad Meets World is to provide coaching, lectures and events in order to empower a generation of young professionals who will forever be affected by The Great Recession - especially on a local level. I've met a fitness trainer/fellow personal development junkie through a mutual friend who has a similar vision and I'm so excited to possibly be collaborating with her. We're meeting later this week to get to know each other and possibly plan an event together.

Phew! That's a loaded week right there! What is an ambitious Gen Y gal supposed to do?

Networking Tip #1: Listen more than you speak.

There was a recent article in The Miami Herald about how effective listening can help you land a job or propel your current career further. This is also a concept that has come up a lot during coaching classes in the form of Power Listening.

Simply put, great conversationalists also happen to be great listeners. Stay present, listen fully and then put your two cents in. No one likes a person who can't shut up about themselves or their business.

Networking Tip #2: Give rather than receive.

If you walk into a networking event with an "I need to get something" mentality you can bet your bottom dollar people are going to sniff you out. Don't get me wrong, it's great to make some connections for yourself or your business, but there's a difference between looking out for yourself and genuinely wanting to connect with others.

The next time you find yourself networking try coming from a giving perspective. See how you can help others. Maybe you have a book recommendation or there's a great yoga studio you know of. By coming from a place of giving rather than getting, you'll make more meaningful connections, and who knows - maybe those connections will help your business.

Networking Tip #3: Have fun!

Networking events aren't about forced situations in windowless hotel rooms where you've got a "Hello My Name Is..." sticker. In fact, these days networking can be as simple as going out for coffee!

With that being said, only go to events you'll actually enjoy! Have some fun, make friends! Not everything has to be about business or your career.

Just make sure not to have too much fun...no one likes the office lush.

For more on networking tips check out this awesome video Marie Forleo posted recently - Networking Basics: 8 Tips to Networking Without Being Fake.

Happy Networking everybody!

the crazy people I interview?

I always see countless examples around me of people who took a risk to pursue their own passions. My boss is a stellar example as she started an employment agency 44 years ago. The owner of my local yoga studio was a New York City investment banker back in the day. The owner of my local MMA studio also jumped ship and created his own business a year ago. My most recent ex boyfriend was the owner of a restaurant. All of them took a risk and have succeeded to some degree.

I also see countless examples of people who failed at their own businesses and are now having a hard time finding a decent job. How do I see this? Because I interview them all the damn time.

All of these examples have made me both excited and petrified. I have huge dreams and aspirations - and I know damn well I've got the chops and focus to succeed (if only I had the time). But am I really ready to kick this up to the next level? Am I really ready to make the local coffee shop my telecommuting office? Am I ready to really dive deep into creating a coaching program? Am I steady enough to deal with the stress of running my own full time gig?

The truth is that I'm not sure yet.

A couple of years ago I did the freelancing thing full time because I couldn't find a job. It was scary. I was making $5.00 in a month's time. It was stressful and overwhelming. All of this in the midst of a very nasty Quarter Life Crisis at the age of 22.

Granted, back then I had no focus. I had no idea what my niche market or target audience was. I had no clue as to what I could provide other than my writing chops. I had no idea how to land clients, promote affiliate products or sell ad space. I didn't even know what coaching and consulting was. Now I've got all of that more or less figured out, or at least I'm much more clear about it.

I know I've come a very long way. But I'm still dealing with some major inner ick. So once again I'm asking all of you, what do you do when you feel stuck in your career? Have any of you quit your jobs to pursue your passions full time? Share in the comments!

For those of you who may be feeling the same ideas of overwhelm and burnout I leave you with this video from Marie Forleo. And by the way, yes, I did decide to vegetate all weekend in order to recharge.

Coach Jennie (AKA The Audacity Coach) thanks to a mutual friend, blogger and coach. Turns out she knows someone from Miami who can put me in contact with others in the personal development area - which is just EXACTLY what I've been looking for!

Let me break it down for you guys - thanks to this blog I met Diana (Unleash Your Sexy, Enter Adulthood), who was a mutual contact with Coach Jennie who lives in New York. From New York Coach Jennie could put me in contact with people in Miami which is over a thousand miles away. So yeah, once again the internet blew my mind.

So aside from the typical social media outlets I've been exploring other ways to connect with like-minded individuals online. Below you'll find some of the most effective techniques I've come across.

Facebook Groups

I'm in love with Facebook Groups as of late. I'm a part of Carrie Smith's The Careful Cents Freelancers Club, Coach Jennie's Team Audacity and International Coach Academy's Connecting Life Coaches.

All three of these groups have put me in connection with other life coaches (some of which I've gotten free coaching from), amazing online entrepreneurs and incredible resources for my own endeavors. It's a great way to connect with like minded individuals and support each other on your journeys.

Follow Your Faves on Twitter

Carrie Smith recently posted a stellar piece on Simply Hired entitled 5 Ways to Effectively Use Twitter to Land Your Next Job. Since then I've been making Twitter lists like a mad woman!

My next step will be to partake in more Tweet Chats. I was already a guest on one of them back in June, but revving up my game and participating in some others would be a great way to make some connections.

Tweeting to my faves more often will also expand my network. Coach Jennie and I actually set up our Skype session because I reached out to her on Twitter.

Other Online Networks

I was actively involved in 20 Something Bloggers for a very long time and although I've taken a major hiatus I would like to get back there. Thanks to this network I was able to find some of my all time favorite blogs, including Jenny Blake's Life After College.

I also joined Gabrielle Bernstein's HerFuture.com to connect with other ladies who were all about positive psychology, spirituality, health and female empowerment. Through this community I found like-minded ladies in the Miami area and we're even planning an in-person meet up! Truthfully speaking If it wasn't for this community I never would have found these ladies in a city of 2.5 million people.

So there you have it - my three must-use online networking techniques. Otherwise known as three ways the internet blows my mind.

How do you network online? Feel free to share in the comments!

Grad Meets World on Facebook then you may have an affinity for my "Tips from the Recruiting Industry." Within these tips I share the crazy things I see at my job while advising all you eager job seekers to avoid making the same mistakes.

This week I figured it would be fun to do a little round-up to lighten the mood on this lovely Friday. Like I have said many times before, the bad news is these things happen in real life, but the good news is you'll be ahead of the job hunting game if you avoid them. So without further ado I present to you 10 Odd Things You Should Never Do at a Job Interview.

1. Do not chew, pop or smack gum. You probably have no idea how irritating this is to the person trying to interview you for a job. Maybe your mother never taught you this habit is utterly rude. Either way, just spit it out before the job interview (er - preferably outside...in a trash can...not in your hand.)

2. Change your email. I have seen some horrendous emails attached to resumes. Snookiebaby69, playgurrrlllxxx, and sweetstoner420 just to name a few. For love of all things good and holy please use professional emails.

3. Don't give the interviewer an attitude. It never ceases to amaze me how many people waltz into the office as if something crawled up their ass and died. Do these people think they'll get a job by acting like an asshole? Here's a newsflash: if you want the job, don't be a douche.

4. Do not bribe the recruiter. Bribing the recruiter will not get you the job. I don't need fifteen 49 cent Microsoft pens thank you very much.

5. Do not ask the recruiter out (especially if you're married). Inappropriate on all accounts. No, I will not go out on a date with you. I don't care if your wife is totally cool with it.

6. Do not talk to the empty chair sitting next to you. Your imaginary friend need not accompany you to a job interview.

7. Do not steal bathroom keys as an excuse to avoid an interview. Really? Are you that much of a wuss that you need to steal out only key to the bathroom to make an exit? We do have to use the facilities every once in a while and now we'll always remember the jack ass that took our key.

8. Do not steal the interviewer's wallet. Yes, this happened to me. In real life. To this day I can't even say it without cracking up - a job candidate stole my wallet.

9. Do not take off your clothes in an interview. By the same token you should avoid blouses prone to nip slips, see through pants and skirts so short I can almost see your hoo-ha.

10. Talk about how someone would raise kids to be serial killers. I have no words.

There you have it! My public service announcement to all you job hunters out there. Happy Friday everyone!

Subscribe to GMW on Youtube!

Viewing this in an email? Click here to see the video.

This week's Q&A Monday comes from long time reader, Liz Fox. Liz emailed me not too long ago telling me how she was in the midst of her QLC and took a test to help her figure out what she wanted to do. To her surprise, "life coach" and "career counselor" made the Top 10. Now, Liz is 24 so she questioned whether or not she's too young to be a life coach, whether she needs more life experience and whether or not someone so young can advise people on how to live their lives.

First off, I'm 24 too (Year of the dragon FTW!)

Second, I firmly believe that you're never too old or too young to start doing what you love. Marie Forleo actually covers this topic perfectly in one of her videos and I highly suggest checking it out.

As for me, I got lucky that I discovered my passion for personal development very early on life. So why not go all the way starting now?

Third, some people would think that you would need more life experience in order to be a coach. Take it from someone who does job interviews on a daily basis, I interview tons of people in their 30s and 40s who are just as lost and confused as us millenials. The issue of self-awareness, consciousness and maturity - or lack there of -are issues that plague some people throughout their entire lives and certainly aren't mutually exclusive to age

And finally, contrary to popular belief, life coaches don't tell people what to do. We're merely instruments that help people figure stuff out for themselves through various methods and techniques. At the end of the day, you're more likely to follow something YOU came up with than something someone told you to do.

So here's my advice to all you Liz's out there. Don't waste another second worrying about age. Go out there and starting working toward your big goals NOW! Otherwise you'll shoot yourself in the foot 10 years from now.

Give Yourself Permission

The first thing you need to do is give yourself permission to express what you want. Many times we feel guilty because what we want may not be in line with outside pressures - such as society or our parents.

Unfortunately, the majority of people choose career paths that aren’t in alignment with what they actually want because they let outside influences affect their decision. The world is filled with stories of people who realize 10 years into their career that they actually hate what they do. A crisis then ensues.

Take a few minutes to sit in silence and clear you head. Once you’ve done that take out a pen and paper and give yourself permission to write down whatever it is you want to do. No outside influence. No fear. No pressure. No chatter. Just write.

Get Clear About Your Values

Once you’ve got at least a fuzzy idea of what you want see if it is in alignment with your values. It’s a safe bet that if your career goals aren’t in line with your values that you’re going to have a pretty miserable time - and it’s not just with your career, it’s with every aspect of your life. Being out of alignment will undoubtedly stop your natural flow - think of it as life constipation.

Defining your values and then aligning your career goals to them will help you get crystal clear on what it is you actually want. You can feel free to try this exercise with every other aspect of your life as well.

(I’ve created a template to help you get very clear on your values and your goals. It even goes as far as helping you create action statements. Email list subscribers already have a copy of this. If you’re not a part of the amazing fireballs that make up this community, make sure to subscribe to get this worksheet in your inbox. Click here to subscribe.)

Be Unapologetic

Once you’ve gotten clear about what you want be unapologetic about it. It’s your life, you can choose whatever it is you want to do and you deserve to be successful at it (so long as you work for it, of course).

At the end of the day people are going to judge whatever decision you make, so live your life trying to impress yourself instead of impressing others.

This doesn’t mean you should be a conceited ass, it just means you should feel confident about what you want.

Start Working Toward It

Now that you’re more clear and confident about what it is you want, go after it! Research, write, sign up for a course, start a website, apply for that job, go after a promotion, do whatever it is you need to do to get started.

You may need to repeat all these steps periodically, especially the first one. Chances are you’re going to run into obstacles and pressure, so always remember to GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to express what you want.

Image via Gerg1967

Grad Meets World » career

5 Ways to Deal with a Difficult Boss

Kick Ass Career By 2013 Giveaway

How do you network online? Feel free to share in the comments!