Vintage GMW: 10 Happiness Posts For When You’re Overwhelmed

Amanda Abella — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 13:00:48 +0000

This week we have another round of Vintage GMW. These are the 2011 posts that survived a website crash back in December and made GMW what it is today. Check back periodically as I will be posting the best of the best.

Sometimes life gets in the way...

With everything we always have going on in our lives - work, stress, obligations, duties, responsibilities, appointments, relationships, etc. - it can become very easy to let our emotions get the best of us.

Everyone has bad days at work, ominous deadlines and days where they just feel generally unmotivated and sad. And you can definitely count on life throwing you a few curve balls - after all, that’s what makes it interesting.

We become exhausted, cranky and anxious because we either have too much going on or things just don’t seem to be going our way. This not only hinders our psychological well-being, it also affects our physical health in negative ways.

Yoga has taught me that when this happens the best thing to do is just clothes your eyes and listen to your breath in an effort to immediately start calming the mind. The rest requires somewhat of a mind shift as we learn how to deal on our journey into adulthood.

If you are ever feeling stressed, overwhelmed or generally sad check out some of these great blog posts. I promise they will help lift your spirits and give you a new perspective on life.

10 Happiness Posts That Will Cheer You Up When You Are Overwhelmed

7 Reasons to be Happy Even if Things Aren’t Perfect – Tiny Buddha

10 Ways to Let Go and Overcome a Bad Mood – Tiny Buddha

10 Instant Tips to be Happier Now – CNN

How to Find Authentic Happiness – GoodLife Zen

17 Sure Fire Ways to Lift Your Spirits – GoodLife Zen

7 Tips for Making Yourself Happier in the Next Hour – The Happiness Project

Breathe – Zen Habits

Lessons from an Emotional Breakdown - PluginID

Finding the Elusive Work-Life Balance - Zen Habits

300 Reasons to Be Happy. Things to Love About Your Life NOW - Your Life Your Way

Image via KielerSonne

GMW The Ultimate Guide: Your First Year Out of College I still have a collection of the best posts that made this blog into the popular Gen Y spot that it is. As a result, I'll occasionally post some of my faves from the ebook with a few added twists. Enjoy!

One of the reasons post grad anxiety and quarter life crises occur is because of our fear of the unknown. For the first time in our lives, no one is really telling is what to do and we’re not really sure where our next steps will lead us.

Sure, you’re supposed to find a job. But hey, we inherited a crappy economy.

Sure, you’re supposed to move out. But there’s no work to be had that will give you sufficient funds to do so.

Sure, you could go to grad school. But that’s a lot of student loans and still no guarantee of work when you’re done.

Sure, you could go abroad. But of course that’s not free (or cheap).

Our futures are uncertain, and no matter how many plans we make, a piece will always remain uncertain.

Scary thought, isn’t it?

Of course, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t do the things you want. If you want to go abroad, go to grad school, start a side business, move across the country etc., figure it out and do it. People have been figuring it out for centuries and you won’t be the last ones in this position. However, you will still have to deal with a little uncertainty.

This is where some people prosper while others fail. You can either let it control you and turn into a nervous wreck, or you can take on a new perspective and enjoy the present.

5 Ways to Overcome Fear of Uncertainty

1. Make plans, not expectations.

Expecting a fantastic outcome without actually planning for it is a major faux paus when it comes to this kind of stuff. You only end up setting yourself up for disappointment if things do not match up to your expectations. And let’s face it, when does life ever go according to anyone’s expectations?

Focus on what you can do in order to create the experience that you want. Do you need to save money? Can you start looking for jobs before you graduate? Do you need to find roommates? Of course, sometimes life throws us some curveballs, which brings me to my next point.

2. Prepare for different outcomes.

A true sign of maturity is being able to gracefully handle a situation that does not go your way. Make a list of the different outcomes of your plans, that way if you are met with a curveball, you’ll at least have an idea of how to handle it.

3. Focus on what you can control.

The fact of the matter is that we cannot control everything. I know this may be hard for some of you (including myself) to swallow, but you are only fooling yourself if you think you can control every single aspect of your life.

There are some things which you can control. For instance, let’s say you have moved across the country and can’t find anything because you have a ton of clutter lying around from unpacking. Rather than freaking out because you can’t find your favorite coffee mug, start organizing the space little by little.

4. Become confident in your ability to adapt.

As human beings we are very capable of adapting to different situations. I mean, come on, we’ve been adapting since the beginning of time. The problem lies in that we are not always very confident in our ability to do so.

Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if x, y, and z don’t go my way?” Unless it’s a life or death situation, I’m sure you’ll be fine.

5. Balance.

Ok, this may be kind of out there, but hear me out. One of the biggest problems I had in dealing with the uncertainty of the future is that I spent every waking hour trying to figure it out. If I had to read X Book about running a business, I would stress out about it as if my life depended on it. What eventually ended up happening is I never took any time to relax anymore. Sometimes I thought I had even forgotten how to relax.

Balance is key no matter what stage of your life you are in, but I think it rings particularly true as a 20something trying to figure their lives out for the first time.

The fear of uncertainty doesn't have to control you. YOU are the creator of your own life, and although we tend to forget this, WE are in the driver's seat. WE have the freedom to make our own choices and really design the lives we want to live.

This is an excerpt from the Personal Development and Happiness chapter of GMW Ultimate Guide: The First Year Out of College. If you'd like more inspiring writing concerning life design, personal finance, entrepreneurship, career and wellness make sure to grab your copy today! It makes a great gift for the recent grad or someone who just needs to get their stuff together.

Image via sacrifice_87

We get in funks and we get in these funks because we're not being true to ourselves - whether it's our jobs, the way we're living, a relationship that isn't working out, or our belief system.

Since recovering from a stint of severe anxiety I've learned a few things about managing stress. In the last year, and especially in the last few months, I have learned to recalibrate and do whatever it is I need to get centered and focused again. Sometimes it involves taking a break. Sometimes meditating and yoga will do the trick. And sometimes I just really want to watch some freakin' TV for once.

I can credit this to a few of things. First, learning the hard way that plowing through your days at 100ph will probably just make you sick. Second, yoga has helped me discern when I need a break by tuning in to my mind and body. Lastly, my coaching course with Gabrielle Bernstein has helped me start noticing when I'm in the zone (she calls it ~ING) and when I'm not.

So what do you do when you start to get in that funky mood? Below I give some examples from my own life while describing things that have helped me overcome some severe anxiety issues I grappled with for a pretty long time.

1. Don't give in to guilt.

We live in a society that's all about achieving, as such we tend to feel guilty when we're not being productive or nailing our next big goal. We also tend to feel guilty if we haven't yet reached a milestone we thought we were supposed to get. Don't get me wrong, having an achieve mentality isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless of course you let it get in the way of actually living your life.

We have to realize that sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we need to be doing. We need to accept the fact that sometimes our minds and bodies need a break. We need to be okay with not doing anything for a little bit.

2. Let loose.

I spent the last two weekends partaking in street festival shenanigans. The first was Calle Ocho which is basically some huge latin fest with live music and tons of food from around the world. The second was of course St. Patrick's Day where I let loose with some friends and enjoyed the company of some new ones.

Truth be told I just really needed to have some fun. It was kind of liberating actually. Sure, I was exhausted from the shenanigans, but I felt like I'd actually had a weekend.

This was pretty refreshing to me as I reflected back on how I was feeling this time last year - burnt out, anxious over a job situation that I knew wasn't working out, sick, and moping around over the current life situation. Shortly afterward I made some major changes, like getting a new job, and a year later things are much brighter.

3. Be a witness to the present.

Part of what gets us in a funk is living in the past and future tripping. I was an expert at both upon college graduation, and the anxiety that ensued lasted for over a year. And I'm talking "Holy shit I'm literally making myself sick and my doctor just gave me happy pills" kind of anxiety.

I was being way too hard on myself by replaying painful stories and being nostalgic about parts of college that were clearly over. Furthermore I was future tripping over where I thought I should be.

First, stop replaying the stories as if you can change something. You can't change that past and the stories you keep telling yourself serve you no purpose. Second, forget how you think things should be and start realizing that you are where you're supposed to be for right now. It doesn't mean you'll be in this place forever, it just means you're where you need to be for the time being.

There's a popular saying in Spanish that I think sums up this point perfectly, "No cojas tanta lucha con la vida". Translation: Stop fighting with life so much.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

I went to a small conservative college where I didn't totally feel like myself. Don't get me wrong, I had some great times and made wonderful friends, but there were certain aspects I could never accept or agree with.

Instead of just accepting that everyone has a different path in life, I tried to conform. The result was a very long term funk where I spent a couple of years feeling totally off balance - eventually it even took over my physical body and nervous system.

The problem was I kept comparing myself to my peers thinking I should be doing the same things they were. I should be on fire about the religion I was raised with like they are. I should be getting married soon. I should believe certain things.

Or, on the other side of the spectrum, I shouldn't be doubting. I shouldn't be acting this way. I shouldn't even be thinking this way.

Real talk? It's not me. It never has been. It never will be. In fact, it's utterly crazy that I even compared myself to something I always knew didn't resonate with me.

Comparing yourself to others and trying to tailor your life based on false ideas you think you need is a sure fire way to end up in an uber funky mood. Seriously, axe the comparisons.

By the same token, you definitely shouldn't be comparing yourself to others in order to feel better about yourself. At the end of the day money, marital status, jobs, cars, and social status don't really matter. We're all woven from the same cloth and we're all ending up in the same place.

5. Do you.

Doing you, following your gut, and accepting yourself for who you are will work wonders in terms of feeling centered in your life. Seriously, get real with yourself - most of the time you already know what you want and need, but for whatever reason you just feel like you shouldn't accept it.

6. Take it slow.

Ever heard of that saying "Life is what happens when you're too busy making plans?" It's true.

There's no reason to rush through life in order to reach x, y, and z milestones. Take it slow and enjoy the ride. Savor every moment - even the painful ones because they can teach you something and even open the doors to some amazing things.

And that my friends is what I have learned while recovering from severe anxiety. Some of you may be scratching your heads thinking that some of these things are completely impossible, that there's no light at the end of the future tripping tunnel, that things will just totally suck for a long time, but I promise you by taking some small steps in your daily life you can start seeing some improvement.

Grad Meets World » anxiety

Vintage GMW: 10 Happiness Posts For When You’re Overwhelmed