Since I opened up GMW to guest contrubutors a few months back I have gotten an incredible outpour of 20somethings who want to share their stories and tips with the rest of the community. This week we have a guest post from Alvina Lopez who touches upon some aspects of the QLC that even I’ve had trouble mentioning on the blog. She shares some great tips to get through the hurdles and enjoy the ride!
Overcoming Your Quarterlife Crisis: 3 Coping Tips
Many college seniors dream of the day they finally get to walk across the stage, get their diploma, and leave the stress of tests and studying behind them. But while the stress of school may die down, a new stress can start to manifest shortly after the ceremony—the stress of “adulthood.” Transitioning to this new phase in life can be rather difficult. As a result, some recent grads begin to suffer from what is referred to as a quarterlife crisis.
In a nutshell, a quarterlife crisis is a term exclusive to twenty-something-year-olds and is used to describe the feelings of angst and uncertainty that is felt throughout a person’s “prime youth.” For example, some graduates begin to eventually question all of their decisions, including whether they made the right career choice, if they found the right mate (or will ever find the right mate), begin to miss “all-things-college,” panic about loan debt, feel embarrassed because their still living with their parents, or start to feel depressed because their new career endeavors has separated them from their loved ones. And no, a quarterlife crisis is not to be confused with its counterpart the mid-life crisis either (there’s no cheating with the secretary or urge to buy a fancy convertible sports car). Rather, those struggling with a quarterlife crisis begin to nervously wonder if their lives are headed in the “right” direction. The term might be relatively new, but the crisis has been depicted in numerous films, including The Graduate, 500 Days of Summer, and Post Grad.
If the symptoms seem all too familiar and the types of concerns mentioned above plague your everyday life you may be suffering from a quarterlife crisis. But no worries—you are not alone. In fact, according to the most recent statistics more than 86 percent of 1,000 surveyed young twentysomethings are in the midst of experiencing a quarterlife crisis at this very moment. While the crisis is normal, if not monitored or controlled however it can take havoc on your life. To make sure that your quarterlife crisis does not consume you and to learn a few simple ways to cope, follow the tips listed below.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself
The worst thing you can do is try to compare yourself to your friends (and especially your enemies). This might be easier said than done, especially with the availability of social media networking sites that give you access to other people’s entire lives on demand, but it’s important that you steer clear from “spying” and checking-in on what everyone else is doing—it could lead to a demolished confidence and self esteem, especially if you learn that your arch rival makes way more money than you. But even if you do come across someone’s profile and discover that they have a better job, is engaged, gets to travel the world, or appears to have a more active social life than you it’s important that you don’t let it get to you. As cliché as it may sound there’s always going to be someone who is better or more successful and you need to accept that and just focus on what you do have and on your accomplishments. And remember that what you see on social networking sites can be deceiving as well. Just because someone may make more income doesn’t mean that they’re not as equally as miserable or experiencing the exact same feelings that you are. Just do you and focus on the opportunities you have been given.
2. Don’t Set a Life Deadline
There are no rules that say you have to get married at 25 or have a child by 30. When the time is right it will happen. Don’t force or stress about getting married or being single simply because society says you should or because all of your friends are getting hitched. If you insist on giving yourself a deadline, remember that it can be easily adjusted. Besides, 40 is the new 30 anyway.
3. Evaluate Your Options
While it’s understandable for you to be worried if you have student loans to pay and can’t find an immediate “career” job out of college, it’s important that you do not throw in the towel and go into the fetal position until you’ve exhausted all of your options. If the traditional way of finding a job, such as looking in employment databases and scouring the classified section of the newspaper is leading you nowhere, turn to the power of networking. Friends, family members, former classmates, professors and especially internship advisors may just be able to get you through the door. If you still have no luck just remember that you can always consider returning to school to get your master’s degree in a subject that correlates with your undergrad degree or take the opportunity to switch career choices entirely. You can also consider volunteering with the PeaceCorps or AmeriCorps for a few years—they’ll even help pay back your student debt. You might even think about becoming your own boss and becoming an entrepreneur. The possibilities are endless. The point is never walk away defeated. Formulate a list of back-up options in case something doesn’t work out as planned because it reality, hardly anything ever goes according to plan.
Alvina Lopez is a freelance writer and blog junkie, who blogs about accredited online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: alvina.lopez @gmail.com.
