I was partaking in my usual Sunday ritual of Mystic Monk Cowboy Blend Coffee, writing for some clients, and listening to some sweet Bossa Nova music (Ok, so maybe there were a few several episodes of Sex and the City somewhere in between writing and drinking) when I remembered a recent conversation I had with one of my friends from California.
I was explaining my new obsession with airline miles and how to juggle the credit cards so you don’t take a hit on your credit score when she said “Wow Amanda. You’re, like, so adult! I’ve never even had a credit card!” To which I quickly responded, “Are you kidding? Me? Adult? YOU’RE (expletive) GETTING MARRIED IN AUGUST! I can’t even take a man seriously enough to date him!”
Upon remembering this conversation I decided to distract myself for a while and started reading some of my favorite blogs. As fate would have it I stumbled upon one of Enter: Adulthood’s latest entries, Realization #3: There Is No Timeline on Being an Adult. It really resonated with me (especially the parts about partying hard at your friend’s wedding and your body not making it past 11pm on most nights) and then I really started wondering: what makes you an adult?
Is it getting your first credit card? Landing your first 9 to 5 real world job? Paying your bills without the help of mom and dad? When you finally learn what a 401k is? Finally moving out of your parents house? Getting married and having kids? When your friends start getting married? When your friends get pregnant and your first reaction is “Congratulations!” and not “Oh shit what are you going to do?”? Moving to the other side of the country? Having your heart shattered and being left with no choice but to take it like a woman (i.e. take a big girl pill and get the hell over it)? Is it when a dirty bathroom and a messy room start to give you anxiety? When you’re so tired from the work day all you want to do is be in bed before midnight? When you realize you are turning into your parents? Is it just a state of mind? Like you wake up one morning and say, “I’m done screwing around”? Or is it when you accept yourself for who you really are, faults and all, and forgetting what people, religion, or society tell you what you’re supposed to be?
If the aforementioned serves as measurement into adulthood then I’ve got some ways to go.
Who’s with me?
Actually, I try not to give adulthood too much thought since I feel like it’s an imaginary milestone.
Adulthood is typically measured by agreed upon social norms: when you get married, when you have kids, when you start working, etc. It’s why Gen Y is accused of pushing back adulthood because fewer people aren’t engaging in what people think adults need or should do.
So on a personal level, I’ll never refer to myself as an adult because it holds no real meaning to me. Each individual will experience different parts of life; some aspects I’ll never have, and others that some might not experience either.
I would much prefer to gauge my own life by my own milestones, versus imaginary ones that other people created. There are certain things I want to accomplish, and I think that’s more important than what it means when I finally accomplish them (re: adulthood).
Tatiana I like your version better lol.
Hi Amanda! I’m glad my post could spark those thoughts. I had fun writing that because it was a short summary of ridiculous things that have happened to me in the past few years.
I agree with Tatiana that people measure us by those particular milestones. But why? Why do we have to be measured like that? It’s different for everyone. I think being an adult is being YOU. I want to try to take the negativity out of the word. We can still be cool and be adults.
Haha that’s true, being “adult” does have a boring and negative ring to it. Cheers to being cool grown ups instead