Sometimes, the hardest thing we can do is to own how awesome we are. We confuse it with conceit. Or, we just think we aren't worthy.
As a result we stay stuck in jobs we hate, stay in relationships that are sucking the lives out of us, stay hung up on exes, continue self sabotaging patterns - all because we actually believe we can't do any better. No, this is real talk - that we can't possibly DESERVE any better.
I am more guilty of this than I like to admit. Two days before my first live coaching workshop I was practicing it through with Coach Jennie. I was way more relaxed this time around. I had released the need to be perfect. When my coach asked me what had changed I said something along the lines "Oh well, I realized that it's really not THAT much of a big deal. It's not like I'm presenting my thesis again."
Boy did a I get a talkin' to then! I'm paraphrasing here but from my end it sounded a little something like this "Amanda, it IS a big deal to you. You've put your heart and soul into this. You are potentially setting yourself up for the rest of your career - the rest of your life! And you are putting yourself out there! So give yourself credit where credit is due! Own it!"
I had flashbacks at that moment. Flashbacks about how I shied away and didn't let myself shine - at my job, among my peers, with my business, with this blog and ESPECIALLY in my romantic relationships. To be honest I was kind of disgusted with myself. What the hell was the point of shying away? To be more liked? So I could stay in a relationship? To play by the status quo? None of that worked out anyway!
Suddenly I could see what the REAL point of this workshop was. I needed to own my awesomeness and I sure as hell need to teach other people to do the same.
Granted, Coach Jennie did not push me as a means of adding pressure. This was to show me that I need to be unapologetic about my awesomeness. And it's something we all need to learn how to do - in our careers, with our partners, with our passions, in our businesses, with the people we choose to surround ourselves with, etc. etc. etc.
So how do we do that?
1. Release the need for perfection.
No one is perfect. And pretending like we are is so inauthentic people can smell it. We may not feel like we're "perfectionists", but we'll easily start shying away or changing things about ourselves in order to be liked. We feel like we need to be perfect in someone else's eyes.
This is a total waste of our talents. What's the point of being liked if we're not being honest with ourselves? And what's the point of not being honest with ourselves if we feel like frauds?
Think about it.
2. Get over the idea that people want you to fail.
No one wants you to fail. And if they do then that's a problem they have and it has nothing to do with you.
On the contrary, people WANT you to succeed! They WANT you to do well! They WANT you to own your gifts!
As someone who sits on the other side of job interviews I can tell you from first hand experience that I don't want any of the job candidates to do poorly. I want them to do well! I want them to be hireable! I want them to knock it out of the damn ball park! Otherwise hiring managers, your boss, companies, partners, whoever have to keep freakin' looking!
3. "Whether you can or you can't you're right."
Leave it to Henry Ford to hit you with a statement so simple yet so true. You are what you believe. If you really believe you can't do something then you're only going to prove yourself right.
Try something different this week. Try changing your language. Change your words from "I can't" to "How can I?" It makes a world of difference when you live in the land of possibility.
4. Realize that you always have a choice.
This statement was a driving force behind my workshop last week. It was the one thing I really wanted people to get - no matter what is going on outside of you, you always have a choice in life.
You make the rules.
You call the shots.
You can choose whether or not to own your awesomness.
You choose how to love yourself.
You choose how to see circumstances.
You choose how to create your life.
With that being said enjoy the video of my workshop!
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