It took me over a year to figure out that the pursuit of work life balance is complete and utter bullshit. I mistakenly thought that if I had every part of my life compartmentalized and organized – fitness, side hustling, job, money, relationships, social life – that I would feel less stressed on this journey of adulthood.
Boy, was I wrong.
I ended up spending a lot of time and money being even MORE stressed than I already was. In fact, I was so tired from trying to keep up with everything at once that I got sick toward the end of 2011. It was then that I realized I needed to change something. I realized that I needed to start living my life by going with the flow rather than trying to control everything.
The fact is that life isn’t linear. It’s not organized. It’s not perfectly compartmentalized into equal parts.
Rather, life goes with the flow. Look at nature for example. Do you see flowers or trees trying to force and control situations? No! It’s all a cycle that they flow with! In the Spring and the Summer they bloom, come Fall and Winter they don’t. You don’t see Nature trying to fight this, it merely accepts whats happening and flows into it’s cycle.
Life is kind of like that. Sometimes work is at the forefront. The next week maybe your family needs you more. The week after that you may have a lot going on with school.
The point is you can’t completely control it – that will only make you feel worse. Rather, you just need to go with the flow and deal with whatever life is handing you at the moment.
Granted, that doesn’t mean be complacent and wait for things to happen to you. It doesn’t mean live a completely passive life. It just means don’t fight something thats already happening. Don’t try to force your life into a mold. Like one of my yoga teachers once said, “Suffering occurs when we resist that is already happening.”
So this week, instead of forcing yourself to live a perfectly balanced life try going with the flow instead.
Hey Amanda,
I agree with some of what you’re saying, but disagree with the assertion that life balance is bullshit.
I think that life balance *is* important. Diversification in life is a very good thing. I know people who are fully invested in one thing, and if that one thing goes wrong, their life essentially falls apart. If however you have a more balanced life, things going wrong in one area doesn’t mean the end of your world.
On the other hand, that balance should have flexibility. It absolutely is fine if you’re swamped one week with work, and then go ahead and play golf three times the week after (my vice
). As long as you retain the balance in the long run and don’t find yourself working endlessly for months on end (for example), then a little tipping of the scales here and there is fine.
Cheers,
Tom
Tom Ewer recently posted..The 100 Blogs You Need in Your Life [LWB 100 - 2nd Edition]
Hi Tom,
I completely 100% agree with you. I’ve just noticed through my job that people seem to think life balance is this very linear goal that needs to be attained – so when something gets a little “off balance” (cest la vie, right?) they completely freak out.
Since it’s such a big buzz word I’ve noticed that most of the media and blog posts out there about life balance are more about how to cram things into your life under the pretense that it will make you more balanced and less stressed.
It’s very difficult, if not impossible, to have every part of your life equal – and I feel like a lot of people (including myself) made the mistake of trying to attain that under the misconception that we would live a balanced life. Kind of like, if everything is split up and under control, then we have no reason to be stressed. Of course that’s just never going to happen so we end up even more anxious.
I now know better know though. Self-care (in my case yoga and exercise) is on the top of my list no matter what is going on
Amanda
Amanda Abella recently posted..Why Life Balance is Bullsh*t
In that case I agree with you entirely. Semantics be damned
Tom Ewer recently posted..The 100 Blogs You Need in Your Life [LWB 100 - 2nd Edition]
I love conversations about the work/life balance because it’s so abstract – and thus so fascinating to me.
I don’t know how I feel about work/life balance because I really think it depends on the type of job you have. I think work/life balance is hardest for people whose jobs (and thus time commitment) are inflexible and so they only have the evenings and the weekends free (so they burn out from working more on side projects). However, if you’re working in retail for example, where you don’t always work every day of the week (or even if you do, you may only work a few hours versus all day), then you have SUBSTANTIALLY more time to do what you want. It’s easier to create balance.
I think it also depends on personality type. I’m not type A, and am probably on the lazier side of spectrum (preferring to sleep all weekend versus do anything). Therefore, I’m not inclined to bust my ass and am only willing to push myself so far. I don’t believe in forgoing sleep just to work on something, and take frequent breaks to energize myself. In some ways, I don’t have demeanor of a hustler because just thinking about it exhausts me. But I think for someone who is more of a go-getter, totally energized and ready to tackle anything and everything – they might have a harder time with work/life balance.
At least – that’s my general opinion anyway. :3
Tatiana – I rarely ever forgo sleep. It’s a non-negotiable lol. And you’re right about the inflexible schedule being an issue. When I was teaching English my schedule was very sporadic and I would burn out easily trying to keep up with it all. I’m also a pretty organized and structured person so that inconsistencies would drive me mad.