If you all read my column over on Glass Heel then you already know that I decided to enroll in a life coach certification course (Thanks Michelle Ward for recommending ICA!) . I’ve gotten very positive responses about this, which now makes me feel that I am on the right track, however this was a decision that brought on a lot of fear. Fear that I needed to learn how to sit with.
I thought about calling this post, How to Spend a Shit-ton of Money When You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Fear, but figured it didn’t really convey the message I’m ultimately trying to get at. But the truth still remains, I was scared. Really scared.
Scared over how much money this will cost me (we’re talking close to 6k) .
Scared that I wouldn’t make a good coach.
Scared that I am in way over my head.
Scared that I would be a phony for spending that much money after writing personal finance posts for you guys.
Scared of the time this is going to take (6 months to over a year easy).
Scared of the amount of work this is going to take (this coming from a self-proclaimed work-a-holic).
And so I did what any aspiring yogini/personal development junkie would do. I SAT WITH MY FEAR. I talked it over with my best friend (What would I do without her? Seriously.), talked to my parents, talked to a couple of readers, talked to whoever would listen so I would hear my thought process out loud. Then I wrote. I wrote the first thing that came to my head (P.S. It ended up being published on Glass Heel lol). Then I talked some more and ended up asking myself:
What would the alternative look like if I don’t do this?
It went a little something like this:
Working for someone else for 30 years. Depending on someone else for a paycheck. Not being able to help people to my fullest potential. Not be able to reach my own fullest potential. Settling. Playing it way too safe. Not pursuing something that I have genuinely come to love and adore.
Basically, it would look like all the crap I’ve been railing against since the inception of this blog.
It didn’t make me feel good. At all. In fact, it made me feel sick.
Then, the light really shone through- and I was able to see some clear truth:
If you want to rock it as your own full-time boss (which I will ultimately do someday) you’re going to have spend money at some point. I happen to have found my thing in personal development, and personal development ain’t cheap.
Investing a shit-ton of money on yourself is not something we should feel guilty about – particularly if you have the intuition that it will really do you some good in the long run. For example, who feels guilty about having spent a ton of money on college degree? Can’t think of many people…
If you want to make strides in creating a kick ass life, you’re going to have to take some risks. Period. Point Blank.
We have to deal with fear. We have to get comfortable with it. As a lovely coach recently told me, we have to invite our fear out for tea.
After realizing all of the above I enrolled. And you know what? A sense of true and genuine calm came over me, and the calm has continued as I’ve started to take my first classes.
The Feeling Factor
You see, when we take the time to listen to our intuition, to our bodies, to how we’re actually feeling we can make better decisions. We can choose paths that are in line with our values. We can make the decisions that are right for us – even if they seem a bit risky.
So this week I encourage you to take a look at something you really want to do and ask yourself some of the following:
How do I feel about this right now? Is it stressful? Are you scared? What in particular scares you about it?
Then sit with your fear for a couple of days. Talk it out. Write in a journal. Seek guidance. Meditate on it. Pray.
Pay attention to how your body feels through the entire process. The body never lies so take the time to listen. Do you get tense? Feel any pain? Are you relaxed or calm?
And finally, if you still can’t make a decision ask yourself, “What would the alternative look like? How would the alternative make me feel?”
That one is the real kicker right there.
Feel free to share some of your big goals in the comments section. Let us know how you are feeling, if you’re scared of taking a leap, if you actually took a leap, etc.
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