Sometimes we’re not feeling it.
By “it” I mean our work, our side projects, our relationships, and our current life situation in general. Something feels off and as a result other parts of our lives start to feel off as well.
We get in funks and we get in these funks because we’re not being true to ourselves – whether it’s our jobs, the way we’re living, a relationship that isn’t working out, or our belief system.
Since recovering from a stint of severe anxiety I’ve learned a few things about managing stress. In the last year, and especially in the last few months, I have learned to recalibrate and do whatever it is I need to get centered and focused again. Sometimes it involves taking a break. Sometimes meditating and yoga will do the trick. And sometimes I just really want to watch some freakin’ TV for once.
I can credit this to a few of things. First, learning the hard way that plowing through your days at 100ph will probably just make you sick. Second, yoga has helped me discern when I need a break by tuning in to my mind and body. Lastly, my coaching course with Gabrielle Bernstein has helped me start noticing when I’m in the zone (she calls it ~ING) and when I’m not.
So what do you do when you start to get in that funky mood? Below I give some examples from my own life while describing things that have helped me overcome some severe anxiety issues I grappled with for a pretty long time.
1. Don’t give in to guilt.
We live in a society that’s all about achieving, as such we tend to feel guilty when we’re not being productive or nailing our next big goal. We also tend to feel guilty if we haven’t yet reached a milestone we thought we were supposed to get. Don’t get me wrong, having an achieve mentality isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless of course you let it get in the way of actually living your life.
We have to realize that sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we need to be doing. We need to accept the fact that sometimes our minds and bodies need a break. We need to be okay with not doing anything for a little bit.
2. Let loose.
I spent the last two weekends partaking in street festival shenanigans. The first was Calle Ocho which is basically some huge latin fest with live music and tons of food from around the world. The second was of course St. Patrick’s Day where I let loose with some friends and enjoyed the company of some new ones.
Truth be told I just really needed to have some fun. It was kind of liberating actually. Sure, I was exhausted from the shenanigans, but I felt like I’d actually had a weekend.
This was pretty refreshing to me as I reflected back on how I was feeling this time last year – burnt out, anxious over a job situation that I knew wasn’t working out, sick, and moping around over the current life situation. Shortly afterward I made some major changes, like getting a new job, and a year later things are much brighter.
3. Be a witness to the present.
Part of what gets us in a funk is living in the past and future tripping. I was an expert at both upon college graduation, and the anxiety that ensued lasted for over a year. And I’m talking “Holy shit I’m literally making myself sick and my doctor just gave me happy pills” kind of anxiety.
I was being way too hard on myself by replaying painful stories and being nostalgic about parts of college that were clearly over. Furthermore I was future tripping over where I thought I should be.
First, stop replaying the stories as if you can change something. You can’t change that past and the stories you keep telling yourself serve you no purpose. Second, forget how you think things should be and start realizing that you are where you’re supposed to be for right now. It doesn’t mean you’ll be in this place forever, it just means you’re where you need to be for the time being.
There’s a popular saying in Spanish that I think sums up this point perfectly, “No cojas tanta lucha con la vida”. Translation: Stop fighting with life so much.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others.
I went to a small conservative college where I didn’t totally feel like myself. Don’t get me wrong, I had some great times and made wonderful friends, but there were certain aspects I could never accept or agree with.
Instead of just accepting that everyone has a different path in life, I tried to conform. The result was a very long term funk where I spent a couple of years feeling totally off balance – eventually it even took over my physical body and nervous system.
The problem was I kept comparing myself to my peers thinking I should be doing the same things they were. I should be on fire about the religion I was raised with like they are. I should be getting married soon. I should believe certain things.
Or, on the other side of the spectrum, I shouldn’t be doubting. I shouldn’t be acting this way. I shouldn’t even be thinking this way.
Real talk? It’s not me. It never has been. It never will be. In fact, it’s utterly crazy that I even compared myself to something I always knew didn’t resonate with me.
Comparing yourself to others and trying to tailor your life based on false ideas you think you need is a sure fire way to end up in an uber funky mood. Seriously, axe the comparisons.
By the same token, you definitely shouldn’t be comparing yourself to others in order to feel better about yourself. At the end of the day money, marital status, jobs, cars, and social status don’t really matter. We’re all woven from the same cloth and we’re all ending up in the same place.
5. Do you.
Doing you, following your gut, and accepting yourself for who you are will work wonders in terms of feeling centered in your life. Seriously, get real with yourself – most of the time you already know what you want and need, but for whatever reason you just feel like you shouldn’t accept it.
6. Take it slow.
Ever heard of that saying “Life is what happens when you’re too busy making plans?” It’s true.
There’s no reason to rush through life in order to reach x, y, and z milestones. Take it slow and enjoy the ride. Savor every moment – even the painful ones because they can teach you something and even open the doors to some amazing things.
And that my friends is what I have learned while recovering from severe anxiety. Some of you may be scratching your heads thinking that some of these things are completely impossible, that there’s no light at the end of the future tripping tunnel, that things will just totally suck for a long time, but I promise you by taking some small steps in your daily life you can start seeing some improvement.
